Updated: Jan 19, 2019
For the interview in February I asked my lovely friend - Ildikó Murvai - who lives and organise her life in a simple way and it helps her a lot. Now she will talk about her story.
Introduce yourself, please!
What makes me alive is to connect with people. I love to spend my time with my friends, just talking, having a converstaion. I feel that each discussion brings me closer to myself. I volunteer to work a lot in the topic of self improvement, personal development and environmental protection. If something attracts me, I just simply share it with others.
As a teacher, I love to make an example and to be authentic is just as important. As I accept myself, I will be more open to others. For a long time, this was missing from my life – not living according to my values – I was nervous and I thought I have to save the world alone. I found really tiring living according to it, I tought I had to be perfect and everyone else has to be perfect right a way… It is not a life I want to live, it’s not only tiring, I guess but it isn’t so attractive to others either. Moreover it is isolating.
For a year I was a volunteer at Messzelátó Association and I had the chance to experience the power of a supportive community. It was not only about accepting each others’ values but also realizing our way of communication and that eveyrone has his/her own way. I was improving everyday’s practices and tricks around the topic of simple living and I also learned about self reflection. I still use it today and remind myself to it time to time. To tend to my goals is not only hard work but needs a lot of patience.I do not lack self-irony as well.
I learned also from an other NGO called: Egyesek – that it is valuable to be on a journey. I had been waiting for becoming perfect, then... (then what?!) The ACT is important, not the words. There is no such thing as perfect and these days I let myself to make mistakes as well, so I can start things by seeing this way.
2. Why did you start to live a simplier life?
When I moved from my parents place I had so many stuff. We used to live in an old house with huge inner hight and only my room was 25m2. The new flat was much smaller, the house was built in the 50s and the function of these flats is practicality. We do not have so much space, but we don’t heat the ceiling. I love huge spaces, so if I had the opportunity I would live in one of the metro stations (M4) – but I cannot so I started to select.
3. Why is it important for you the simple lifestyle?
I love when everything is clean. In order to clean quickly you need space. In order to have space and tidy up fast you need few things. If I do everything fast around the house I have much more time to relax, for my family and friends. It’s simple maths. It is easy if you see the goal – the goal is not being a minimalist – it is only a tool. I did not foreseen all the advantages in the beginning.
4. What is the most difficult to realize?
For me the most difficult is that there are things I cannot give to charity, or won’t have a new owner and I have to through them out into the garbage. From my perspective to create waste is luxury and I truly believe you can find a new life for everything (like upcycling trainings, workshops). To sum up, I am still collecting – but now for others – so I make extra work for myself . I try to connect people with needs and products so they skip me.
It is also hard for me to select in a fair way. How can I stand to select only my stuff? It was difficult, but now it is getting better. What helps me a lot is the open communication with my partner. I never ever through anything out without his permission but it can be tiring when I keep asking him time after time: “Do you still use this? Are you sure?” But he had always very few things – so I have hated him for this.
5. When are you satisfied?
Once when someone visited us, asked me where we keep our clothets. Well, it felt good.
During weekdays for example when I can keep the house tidy simply in a fast way. It means I can explain to my partner in a simple and easy way what and how to do. It means also that if I ask support it is max. 10 min to do. (Like vacuming the house – 54m2)
If we have guests over we can tidy up the whole flat in max. 30 min and after we can clean up in 15 min. I am already happy with these results.
6. What does this lifestyle give you?
It helps me in a practical way – like finding my things in no time. It happens rarely that I search something and when it happens I find it fast. I am much more organised what is a big deal for me. I am much more calm and focused in what I am doing at the moment. I make decisions faster and I am satisfied with ‘good enough’ solutions. I have now much more time – what would be awsome to measure.
To get rid of my souveniers helps me to focus on the people I am with, or the process I’m in. It is liverating to live in the present.
7. How does this lifestyle effeects people around you?
My partner is quite OK till I do not touch his stuff. It's not a burden for us - my partner and me - to select, re-organise boxes, because we have none. These are advantages we enjoy.
In my family already some of them started to select – not everyone in a fair way though. They know I can find a new owner of many things and also in case not needed I know where to leave in a correct way. I see, that many people wants to select but they get stuck with it as they do not know where to leave things they don’t need anymore. One of my subject is envrionmental protection – so I know where to look up information about it. I also started up a facebook group where I have friends sharing information about simply living.